If Bill Belichick is Here then Who’s Running Hell?

I hate the patriots. I’m pretty sure all of you are aware of this. Even though deflategate was complete bullshit and Tommy buttchin should’ve never been suspended, I must admit that I still found some sadistic sort of pleasure in Rodger “beat your wife but don’t celebrate tds” Goodell metaphorically rubbing his penis across Bill Belichick’s face. I mean if you’re going to abuse your power what better team to do it against?

My hatred for the patriots began to fester all the way back in 2001 when when they beat my beloved Steelers in the conference championship game thanks to a classic Kordell performance and 2 special teams touchdowns. Just thinking about that game makes me want to hate punch a tablet and take a shot of dirt whiskey. That was the last time I cried over a sporting event, and any sadness I feel nowadays is soon warped into anger and hatred. Thanks for making me lose an emotion belichick, ya old hoodie wearing devil worshiper. Dude out here looking like an unwashed penis that’s been soaking in a vat of sour cream for the past 2 decades. I bet he spends his free time telling sick kids that Santa doesn’t exist and stealing shoes from homeless Bostonians. It’s basically a fact that this soulless shit puppet has a wallet made from the skin of all the virgins he’s sacrificed to Satan over the years. The highlight of his career is probably not his 4 super bowl wins, but signing and then cutting Tebow just so he could give him false hope and test his faith. Everytime Belichick smiles a puppy dies.

There is honestly no fan base in all of sports I hate more than New England’s. They’re what would happen if you put a professional sports team in osage. Nothing but a bunch of whiney closet racists with weird accents. Fun fact: they never actually embraced Tom Brady until Rodger Goodell began forcefully fucking him into submission. Not even joking. everytime I’m on social media and I see someone with the number 12 as a profile picture I wanna reach through my computer screen and jam a bowl of clam chowder up their butts. “GAHHH WODGER GOODALL IS PICKING ON US. GERBABUEJWBABSJWJJW ” go suck some eggs ya townie fucks. You can take all of your championships and throw them in the Boston harbor with the rest of hernandez’s murder victims.

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