Philadelphia: A Somehow Shittier Version of New Jersey

So this one time I got really drunk, downloaded the premium version of tinder and set my location to Philadelphia. I then matched with some girl who invited me for drinks at some shithole (it’s Philly) bar. I accepted her invitation, then proceeded to delete the application from my phone and pretend like the whole ordeal never happened. That’s how much I hate Philadelphia. Stupid city of cheasesteak huffing guidos. Everyone that lives there is perennially angry due to the sole fact that they live there. Ole cheese grader penis Trump should have ran on the premise of building a wall around Philly instead Mexico. That’s a cause I could get behind. These dumb shits have had one quality quarterback over the past 30 years and then proceeded to boo him on draft day and throw racial slurs his way any chance they got. I can’t wait for wentz to have one bad game just so this city can show their true colors and shove a bunch of cheeseteak up his soulless ginger butt. Remember when Riley Cooper went on that racist rant and instead of cutting him the eagles extended his contract? Remember after having his contract extended he went on to become one of the worst recievers in the league? I remember. Classic Philly move. Oh and you sewer dwelling fucks almost made Tebow relevant again. Eat shit and suck forever

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