THE NFL SCHEDULE IS OUT!
Just to let you know, I’m the only one that writes on this site that has any kind of class. Therefore I like the best organization in football, the Baltimore Ravens. Come, join me as we break down the 2016 schedule with absolutely no bias whatsoever.
Week 1 Sun, Sep 11 vs Bills 1:00 PM
Opening day with the Ryans. I’m a big Rex fan and I think the Bills will be improved this year. That said, Joe throws 4 TDs and Tyrod will understand that he will always be 2nd fiddle to Flacco. Ravens roll 31-17. 1-0.
Week 2 Sun, Sep 18 @ Browns 1:00 PM
Well, we know, regardless of talent or even actually traveling to this game, the Ravens are guaranteed to win 2 games this year. And this is one of them. The Browns are the most pathetic organization in sports. I actually grew up a Browns fan. The real Browns. Then when they moved to Baltimore, my Baltimore relatives sucked me into Raven fandom and I’ve been happy ever since. But this organization is nothing like that one was. Just brutal. And now with the new uniforms they debuted last year, the circus just keeps evolving. Mr. Unbreakable, RG3, at quarterback. And I wonder if Josh Gordon will play haha. This one will be over before the 2nd quarter. Ravens 48 Browns 13. 2-0.
Week 3 Sun, Sep 25 @ Jaguars 1:00 PM
Jags are very much improved. They have drafted very well for the most part and Gus Bradley really deserves a shot to build this. Their schedule this year is pretty tough but they really do need to stick with him no matter what the final record. In fact, the whole revolving door of NFL coaches needs to stop. Let guys build. The results will come. But that’s an argument for another day. This game will be closer than everybody will hope. But Ravens pull it out late 27-20. 3-0.
Week 4 Sun, Oct 2 vs Raiders 1:00 PM
Raiders are going to be good. Really good. Did I say that? Is that possible? Yeah. It is. And this game terrifies me. The game last year was miserable on that baseball field out there. Raiders loaded up on defense in the off season and obviously all of this is pre-draft so they could get even better. If the offense can move the ball, the Ravens will have a chance. If not, could get ugly. Ravens 13 Raiders 10. Just go with it. 4-0.
Week 5 Sun, Oct 9 vs Redskins 1:00 PM
Haha. The Redskins. I heard they were spending a couple billion dollars to buy land in DC and putting a moat around their stadium. Good investment. Ravens 38 Redskins 14. 5-0.
Week 6 Sun, Oct 16 @ Giants 1:00 PM
GGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG MEN. No more Tom Coughlin. Insert Ben McAdoo. McAdoo me a favor and go search for the new Giants coach on Google images. If you can get through 3 pictures without cracking a smile or busting out laughing, I’ll give you all the money rights to our site. Were talking tens of dollars here. He’s hilarious looking. Hoping Eli and the Giants play is similarly hilarious like last year. Ravens 30 Giants 21. 6-0.
Week 7 Sun, Oct 23 @ Jets 1:00 PM
Oh weird, same stadium as last week. This game can’t really be previewed until the Jets figure out what they are going to do at quarterback. I don’t think Ryan Fitzpatrick is worth whatever he is asking for. Yeah, he had a good year, but he isn’t a big contract guy. The Jets know that. They don’t want to make him a Matt Flynn. Smart. So I’ll be conservative on this prediction. Ravens 27 Jets 14. 7-0.
Week 8 —-BYE—-
Week 9 Sun, Nov 6 vs Steelers 1:00 PM
Ok. So the real schedule starts. This is where it gets fun. Ravens swept the Steelers last year even though they only won 5 games. One of which was with Ryan Mallet. I know this sat very well with the Steelers and their gross fans. It sat well with me, I know that. So if Joe is healthy, this one will be easy as Steeler games usually are. Justin Tucker will be involved. Ravens 23 Steelers 21. 8-0.
Week 10 Thu, Nov 10 vs Browns 8:25 PM
Thursday night game. The NFL already said that every team will wear the Color Rush uniforms at some point in the season. This will be the game for these teams. All I can imagine is lots of purple and lots of orange. Going to be disgusting. Whatever. It’s the Browns. Lock it in. Ravens 33 Browns 12. 9-0.
Week 11 Sun, Nov 20 @ Cowboys 1:00 PM
This will be a fun one. Justin Lantz, a writer on the site, is a self proclaimed Dallas Cowboys fan by birth. So I plan on watching this one next to him, like literally inches away from him to make him as uncomfortable as possible, while Elite Joe throws all over Jerry World that day. I’m guessing Steve Smith will catch 2, Mike Wallace will catch 2, maybe even Dennis Pitta will catch 2 if he hasn’t shattered like glass by Week 11. Ravens 56 Cowboys 17. 10-0. Looking good.
Week 12 Sun, Nov 27 vs Bengals 1:00 PM
Crazy having to wait to Week 12 to play a division rival. This one could mean a ton or could mean nothing. Andy Dalton might be hurt by then and it won’t matter. Ravens will be hitting their stride with the bulk of their schedule ahead. Hopefully Burfict will be suspended for something else by this game too. Gotta stay healthy. Ravens 21 Bengals 13. 11-0.
Week 13 Sun, Dec 4 vs Dolphins 1:00 PM
Nice little AFC East tune up with the Dolphins. Mike Wallace will enjoy this one. Just need to keep Ndamukong Suh away from Joe’s knees. That guy has no business in the NFL just like Burfict. Ravens 33 Dolphins 12. 12-0.
Week 14 Mon, Dec 12 @ Patriots 8:30 PM
Toughest game of the year. Potential AFC Championship matchup. As shown in many previous years, Baltimore always plays to the level of their opponent. Thats why they can lose to Jacksonville one week and torch the Steelers the next. How it’s always been. Harbaugh won’t let them be scared of New England and Belichick will do the same on the opposite side. This game should be awesome. Justin Tucker will be involved. Ravens 27 Patriots 24. 13-0.
Week 15 Sun, Dec 18 vs Eagles 1:00 PM
Planning on going to this game with former Cowboys fan, current Eagles fan, Philadelphia Steve. I really have no idea what the Eagles will be like at this point. No clue. And I don’t think anybody else does either. Ravens 23 Eagles 14. 14-0.
Week 16 Sun, Dec 25 @ Steelers 4:30 PM
I can’t wait for all those little Steeler children to come down to see what Santa brought them. Oh my gosh! ANOTHER Terrible Towel!!! (even though all you need is one, yet all Steeler fans have at least 17 of them), Eat N Park gift cards!!! And Steelers-Ravens tickets!!!!!! No wayyyyy! They’ll go to the game, freeze, and spend the whole drive home crying because they were the 2nd best team on all 3 sides of the ball that day. I don’t even need anything for Christmas other than this. Play Renegade all you want. Ravens 30 Steelers 20. 15-0.
Week 17 Sun, Jan 1 @ Bengals 1:00 PM
Another year, another Week 17 with Cincinnati. Once again, this might mean something, but my guess is the division will be wrapped up well before this date. Andy Dalton will most likely be hurt and Marvin Lewis will still somehow have a job. Ravens victory lap in this one. 27-18. 16-0.
16-0? How did that happen. Oh well, playoffs, Super Bowl, parade through Inner Harbor.
Last year the NFL killed the Ravens with an absurd travel schedule for it’s west coast games. Back to back west coast matchups twice in the first half of the year alone. Nothing like that this year. In all seriousness, no the Ravens will not go undefeated. But the schedule is very nice. Favorable matchups throughout. Nice Week 8 Bye. Easy travel. I like it. I just want them to be in a position to compete for an AFC North crown by Week 12. If that is the case, I will be more than happy.
Lets have a good draft and all laugh at how the Rams screwed themselves for years to come.